I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
