Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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