i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
