Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
