im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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