the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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