If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
