Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
