Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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