I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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