hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My ass is underappreciated
Let's get the cat blown out
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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