can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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