Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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