what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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