Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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