Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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