I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
two words: eviction party
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Randomize
