sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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