What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
