my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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