she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
