We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
