he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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