She announced her abortion via fbk
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
