She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize