Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
