He is an equal opportunity slut.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
