my vag is so smooth its legendary
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize