Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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