ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
