My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
