my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize