weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
