drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
