i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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