I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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