There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
