where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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