i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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