it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
