I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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