i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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