But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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