I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
