is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
