You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
