He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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