Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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