I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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