The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize