I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
