The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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