I must be too annoying 4 u.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
