I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
