Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
