Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
