How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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