What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
