don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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