I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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