I puked a lego.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
