This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
